Gratitude

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."- Buddha

I've been doing some thinking (and unthinking) between the busy moments these last few weeks. I find that in the whir and buzz of daily life I've forgotten to breathe and give myself time to just be present. In the unthinking moments I've realized very clearly that I've been caught up in doing and not caught up enough in enjoying and being grateful for all that I have in my wonderful life. It's not about being happy after I've achieved something more because I have all I could want right now.

A few weeks ago I came home convinced moving back to Texas was the worst decision James and I have made to date. It was a woeful pity party on the couch in which my anger and resentment continued to grow because I was so unhappy with daily life and everything was beginning to pile up with the floors in a state of disarray, wanting more out of my professional life, wanting more for James, trying to keep up with Kinsley's extracurricular activies and her being sick.. there was so much energy focused on being unhappy I was unable to realize how blessed we are. In a way I'm grateful for those moments on the couch because what realize now is I needed those moments to remind myself that I'm right where I belong and at the end of the day my biggest concerns pale in comparison to more grave concerns and I should be thankful for that.